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Words are powerful, many people will agree on that. When you feel strong emotions about something,
you are very likely to use words to try to give form to your feeling and make sense of them. Our minds are
constantly bombarded with words. We see, read, write and think in words. Try to think of an object and to define
it without using words. Good Luck!

It is quite possible and even probable that you are using/saying/thinking/writing some words in your every day
life that are detrimental to you and your personal growth. (That was an unwarranted assumption by the way, more
on this in the series).

Here is a pretty famous quote presumably from a man called Frank Outlaw.
Even if the source isn’t confirmed, the quote is still great:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

It speaks for itself, or we should say, it’s written in stone! So in other words:

Thoughts > Words > Actions > Habits > Character > Destiny or Outcome

Now let’s get down the practical use of all this word frenzy!
This series of posts will focus on some of the most common words and expression used today in our culture,
why they can be detrimental and most importantly, how we can recycle them into a better alternative.

And The Victim Asked : “Why do you do this to Me?”

Using words like why and always puts you very often in the role of the victim. A sentence that starts with why is often use negatively to complain about what’s wrong and asks for justification. In many cases, it focuses on the negative and doesn’t offer a solution. Simply switching why to how turns it into a problem solving mechanism.

Here are a few classic examples followed by a better alternative :

• Why am I not getting more customers? Vs How can I get more customers?
• Why wont you stop doing this? Vs How could you stop doing this?
• Why do I get the same results all the time? Vs How can I get different results from now on?

Ahhhh! I just Can’t do it!

Can’t or cannot implies that one doesn’t have the capacity to do a task and it omits to allow a timeline into the definition. Not being able to do something doesn’t prevent you from learning how to do it! Cannot is also used as a subterfuge to transfer the responsibilities one has and blame it on circumstances. Giving a timeframe to the incapacity or changing can’t to won’t makes all the difference

• I can’t do it. Vs I won’t do it.
• I cannot dance Tango. Vs I don’t know how do dance Tango
• I can’t play drums. Vs I can’t play drums right now.
• I cannot help you. Vs I will not help you.

Sure But…

The word but is very sneaky. It immediately qualifies or even negates what has gone before it. Try to replace it with “and” and see what happens.

• I agree with you but I think you should consider this Vs
  I agree with you and I think you should consider this.

Another way to deal with the word “but” is to switch the order of two statements in a sentence. Let’s see how this can work.

• I will try to do it, but it will be hard. Vs It will be hard, but I will try to do it.

I have to do this.

Having is linked to owning something. Yet, very often, we get caught in the meaning by mixing having and doing. We do not posses our actions, we just enact them! We should also remember that whatever it is that we do, it’s always a choice. Choosing gives you back your power and puts you in the drivers seat towards your life.

• I have to. Vs I choose to.
• I had to tell her. Vs I choose to tell her.
• I have to work 40 hours a week to make ends meet. Vs
  I choose to work 40 hours a week to make ends meet.

Can You Observe Your Own Language?

Did you recognize some of your own language patterns in there? Do you think this could make an impact in the way you think and feel about all the different communications you go through everyday? Please share your knowledge!

Stay tuned for part 2!

Zasta

Tags: NLP, Vocabulary