Since I am back from the tour, I decided to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Including a cleaner diet, getting back fully into my yoga and meditation. That involves waking up early and also going to bed earlier in my case. This is definitely not what I was doing. I found myself being irresistibly attracted by the convenience store near my place, buying a small amount of grain fermented refreshments, consuming them while staying up late and putting myself in a low productive creative context in which I was fooling around with some photoshop brushes. Hmm, not exactly the idea I had for myself for a healthier lifestyle. That’s where the laugh came from.

Basically, all I wanted to do are these things that made me feel good when I thought of them. There is a reason why I put this last sentence in bold, it’s related to our neurology and the ways it operates. If you want to understand how and why you behave in such and such ways, you need to look at what is going on under your hat.

The Infamous Thought Pattern

So what is the problem with this sentence?

“these things that made me feel good when I thought of them”

Well, in essence, there is nothing wrong with this. Thinking about the things we want to do is quite healthy. The shift occurs when you have been thinking about these things, whatever they are, for prolonged periods of time; for weeks, months or years. You see, the wonderful machine that is our brain likes to take the easiest route possible to achieve a goal. If it can fire the same neurones to get you to accomplish a simple task like brushing your teeth, it will. It wont try to create new way of doing it if you keep brushing your teeth the same way, using the same hand, at the same speed, following the same routine every time. This is good as it permits us to learn things and free up some space to do other things at the same time like thinking about the things that make us feel good.

So what is wrong? Well, our brain not only likes shortcuts, it also likes, even more, to hold on to them. Once a pattern as been created and well ingrained in our daily actions or thoughts, trying to change them will prove to be a little bit of a challenge. The older the pattern and the more it has been used, the harder it will be to change it. So when you focus on something repeatedly (focus in this case is the combination of thought and emotion) like I did when I was thinking about waking up early, doing my yoga and meditation practice and all the nice physical and emotional benefits that it would bring, you are actually creating a thought pattern in your brain. This thought pattern, once well established in your train of thoughts, will fix itself and try to stay there.

Please bear with me, I’m getting there…

Keep Wanting And You Will Never Get

In my example, I had been thinking this very same thought for a long period of time. I actually never got to put it in practice for more than a week and I kept blaming it on my musician lifestyle that keeps me up late and prevents me from establishing a steady routine. That is only a lame excuse. This thought was strongly fixed into my mind and this same mind was not ready to give up on it. If I were to achieve my goal and do all the things I wanted to do, I would not want them anymore because I would have them. This is the critical point in all of this. If you are going to remember only this little bit from this article, this should be it. If you focus on wanting to hard and for too long, your subconscious will work really hard at keeping you wanting. This is where the self-destructive patterns enter in the game. This is why I stacked up on beer, stayed up late, avoiding the things that I really wanted in order to preserve this feeling of wanting. Fortunately there is a simple and very powerful way to interrupt these thought patterns and in the process, get rid of the behaviours that interfere with your goals.

Want it but don’t sweat it

If wanting too much leads to not getting, then does not wanting lead to having? Wouldn’t that suck big time? Of course, it’s not as simple and lame as that. As I say often, it’s all about balance. That seems to really work like a charm for me. Every time I find myself in a situation like this one, I will try to apply balance to it. In the case of wanting, the best attitude to adopt in my opinion is to:

• Put the intention out
• Establish some actions to take
• Let it all go

Putting the intention out will signal your subconscious to seek for ways to achieve your goal. Establishing an action plan, well, that’s easy, it makes you act on it. Letting go or detaching yourself from your goal means that you do want it but you are not attached with the outcome. Since you are not attached to your goal, you will also be less likely to keep thinking about it and focusing all your mind on wanting it. This, ironically, will put you in a position where achieving the goal is much easier. For me, this is where the balance comes in. Since I now understand that I was attached to the wanting of my goal, I now am in the process of letting go of it. I still want it, but I am completely fine with the fact that I may not do it tomorrow, the day after or to do it for 6 months straight. I take it as it comes and once that balance as settle, I will find myself very happy to get up early for my yogic routine.

And guess what, two or three days after having realized this, I am much more confident about doing it. In fact, this morning I woke up, not at six, but early enough. I took the time to do all my practice and without a surprise, I feel terrific!

Use Your Own Tools

I based myself on some Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) principles and my own experience to come up with this article. The tools I acquired in there are precious to me and they often prove themselves useful in problem solving or solution finding would be the appropriate terms. These are my tools and they work for me. I’m sure they could work for many of you out there but I would be pleased to hear about the ways you have to deal with these type of issues. You are welcome to share them out here on Zen Happens. Hopefully it will add to my humble ideas and help us all become happier and healthier individuals.

It’s cheesy but I mean it!

Zasta

The Band and I left Montreal on the 30th of September. Since then, we drove about 6000 km in Canada. As I am writing these words, we are driving through British Columbia, heading to Vancouver for our tonight’s performance. The rocky mountains surrounding us, the multitude of trees, the altitude of those high peaks, the plenitude of these lakes and ponds, all of it, is too real to describe. In one day, I have seen the warm and magical Albertan beauty of Banff, of the unexpected Jonhston Canyon, the jaw dropping sight of Lake Louise, it’s water, it’s energy.

Tonight, at our show, the experience will be different. I will most likely see some gloomy lighting, inhale the usual smell of the bar; that is the beer that was drank days before added to the one being consumed at the present moment by the regulars. I will get to see the same people that were at the other bars. They just happen to have different names and different appearances. There will also be the screaming fans (hopefully), the loud music, the sweating bullets, the exhaustion, the energy, The Gods of Now.

Touring Is Like Being Jekyl And Hyde

Most of these experience are extreme opposites, they do not seem to fit together, they do not belong to the same lifestyle. Yet, as a touring musician, all these things are part of the experience, the process that makes touring so great, so harsh, so beautiful and ugly.

I am the drummer/backvocals singer of the band. I am also a PR person, a truck driver, a roadie, a stage manager, a camera man, a video editor, an entertainer, a model and on top of that, a yogi. Talking about focusing on one task here! All of these different things and experience are giving me countless opportunity to live in the here and now.

Why always bring it back the present moment? Why always the Here and Now?

Because it is easy to loose yourself to the experience.

What do you think is the most energizing experience: Being on stage and offering your music to a crowd of exited drunken fans or sitting quietly on a rock surrounded by a multitude of rapids? In my perspective, none of them is better than the other. They are both able to recharge you or to completely drain you. What changes the outcome isn’t the experience itself but how you choose to perceive it. This is what makes some of these Rock Stars turn into some junky megalomaniac or into some depressed and unfulfilled artists.

The Show Must Go On

When the experience hits you, whether it’s reaching your hand to a fan in front of the stage or to a curious bird in the middle of Lake Louise, you have to just take it for what it is, live it fully but without making a huge deal out of it. When that experience is gone, all that’s left of it is distant memories, pictures, videos. All of which cannot reconstruct the experience and make you live it again. You just have to move on to the next one. You cannot recreate the past, nor can you predict the future. Your job is to live in the present the experience in front of you and to keep on doing this at each and every moment.

Sometimes, the roads are long, endless. The bars are empty, the sound is awful, the guys in the band are punchy, the meals are foul and the laptop’s battery is drained. Other times, the scenery is humbling, the shows are dreamlike, the hot tub and sauna are rejuvenating, the guys in the band are the best to be with and the hotel rooms feel like home. The key is balancing it out to make the whole experience a growth opportunity.

Here and Now, as I am writing these words, I am very grateful to be in the van, laptop handy, having the opportunity to share with you the ups and downs of the road, the very unpredictable nature of a band, leaving their hometown to go out and promote their music, laying the foundation for what is coming.

If some of you are interested in some more juicy details of what’s happening on this tour, you may be interested in reading the band’s blog. All the writing is done by Shrecker, our singer and guitar player. I can guarantee you will be entertained in many ways. Pictures and videos are soon to come to validate all that crazy writing.

The Gods of Now

The Diary of the Gods

Cheers, Namaste, Rock on, you pick one.

Zasta

The 20 connected breaths is a well known breathing technique that has been popularized by Leonard Orr who is a strong advocate of healing breath work. You may find lots of variations of this technique if you look around and I have not found one that claims to be the “original one”. To me, it doesn’t matter which one you do as long as it works for you.

I come to you as a yoga instructor on this one so I choose to breathe in and out from the nose since it warms up the air and cleans it from various invisible undesired intruders. It also permits, in the fast breaths, to clean the nasal passage and all the sinuses and prevents hyperventilation to occur to fast.

The 20 connected can be done anywhere, anytime, at no cost and no danger whatsoever. It is sure to leave you centered, refreshed, energized and calm at the same time. Try it and witness for yourself.

If you pay attention to the video you will notice that I am still in my 21-day no complaint experiment, brought to me by no other than Tim Ferris. You may also notice the big and long police siren at the end of the video, validating the efficiency of the technique by keeping me calm as they were coming to get me.

I have tons of these things I could share with you;
Let me know if you liked it and also what else you would like to see me offer.

Zasta

At first, I was really worried with it all. I mean, Zen Happens is still pretty new and I didn’t want to loose my momentum and put all my efforts to implant it in the blogosphere right to the trash! Also, I hadn’t taken the time to contact my new ISP to ensure a quick service and avoid being offline for too many days. What was going to happen?

I would have never expected that this would have been such a blessing…

Yep, that’s right, an absolute blessing!

Being off the internet for the past while as had a very positive impact in my life and plus it didn’t affect Zen Happens negatively at all! Comments kept on coming in and my readership constantly went up. Really different from what I had expected in the first place.

So I thought I would share with you the ups and downs I gained from being separated from mother Web and also what lesson I learned from it. Who knows, you might want to try it for yourself!

The Unsuspected Addiction

It is only when you loose something that you realize how much you are attached to it. Now, I don’t consider myself as an Internet addicted person. I have many others interests than being online and my life as a musician and yoga instructor doesn’t even give me the opportunity to sit all day in front of my imac. I have good friends that spend at least 60 hours a week in front of their screen yet do not see themselves as internet addict (sorry Jon, I know you’re working hard!).

Ok, the word addict is a bit pushing it so let’s use: Online Dependence, it has a more respectful ring to it. Anyways, I soon realized that I was attached, in a way, to my online presence. No emails, no stats, no Stumble Upon, no Twitter! I thought my world was ready to crumble.

What a relief that was! All these things that I thought I would miss felt so unnecessary at the time being. All these emails from friends, bloggers, clients and all that jazz that I wasn’t getting, all this inaccessible world that was slipping away from me, all of this felt great and I wanted more (or less) of it.

Less Input, More Outcome

Oftentimes, we do not realize the insane amount of input we expose ourselves to simply by turning on the computer. This is not to be treated lightly. Our brains have to process uninterrupted information that is spewing and rushing at us from myriad of sources ranging from emails, social media, music, videos, spam (it still exists on pc’s) and countless others. This means more choices, more decisions, more stress, a feeling of having accomplished a lot and yet leaving us with less satisfaction.

Being offline removes all that extra input. Since I do not own a television, that wasn’t an option either. That freed up so much time for me to do meaningful tasks and activities. It proved to be very useful once I got into my new apartment. I really took the time to make the place my own and to put the right vibe to it. I did more yoga and meditation, prepared my meals with care and took the time to enjoy them without any screen in front of me, Went for walks and bike rides around my new neighbourhood and discovered how beautiful the area was. It permitted me to just be for a while.

Getting in touch with your Core Values

This as nothing to do with the relationship you have with your abdominal region, it’s about realizing what really matters to you. What is it that, in the end, will make a true difference in your day? There is a lot to say about core values, how they drive your life and how you can discover them. That will be plenty of material for another article.

Here, let’s just say that, having the opportunity to slow down and experiencing life with less input, disturbance and stress, I was able to reconnect with what I feel is really important to me. It could be as simple as enjoying a nice tea with the lights dimmed while listening to relaxing music after a yoga session. Globally, it made me realize that some small yet important things were less and less present in my life the more I was involved online. Now, I make sure to remind myself to create the time to do these things that matters to me.

When You Become Your Habits

There is one thing in particular that I keep from this little experience:

Everything we do is habit forming. The only varying factor here is repetition.

The more you experience something, the more you are familiar with it, the more you are likely to go back to that same experience.

That also goes the other way around:

The less you experience something or the less you are exposed to it, the less likely you are to go and repeat that same experience.

You could replace the experience by Going online or by anything that applies to you. My point here is that, as human beings, we are very flexible and adaptive. We have the ability to make pretty much everything we do a habit. These habits allow us to be on autopilot for doing tasks that we have already learned and that do not require all our attention. Think about that. How many tasks have you already learned that do not require you full attention? I would bet at least a thousand.

• Do you think it’s possible that some of these habits or tasks may be unnecessary?
• Did you stop and observe yourself while enacting these habits?
• Do they serve a tangible purpose or are they just putting you on autopilot?

In the end, I believe that what matters is that your habits serve your purposes and not the opposite. Whatever the nature or importance of the habit is, it should be built with an intention attached to it.

This means that if you go online to check your RSS reader for the sixth time today, not really sure what you are looking for or just to wait for the latest hot article on your list, that may be a sign that some of your daily actions turned into useless habits.

Would You Consider Going Off The Internet For A Few Weeks?

• Would that scare you?
• Do you believe your business or social life would suffer from it?

I think there is nothing that cannot be repaired by an email or avoided by letting people know in advance that you wont be available online or by outsourcing some of your vital tasks to someone else. If you try it, you will see and you may be surprised like me that, you don’t miss it at all.

On that note, I’m going to step off my screen and enjoy the sun now.

Zasta

Each time we interact with an individual or a group of people, be it in person, by email or on the phone, we are given an opportunity. The way we choose to act will determine the outcome of this opportunity. In fact, this doesn’t only apply to folks we meet for the first time, it also goes for our friends, family and every single relationships we cultivate in your lives.

In other words, depending on our natural or learned socializing skill level, we may end up despised and alone by the very people we deal with or praised and cherished by a gigantic network of associates and friends of all walks of life. Okay, these are obviously extremes and hopefully, you’re somewhere in between these two.

Before we start exploring the ‘zen how-to’ of social behaviors, it might be a good idea to take a peak at the roots of our needs and wants. What is it that we really want?

What People Really Want

According to Dale Carnegie, author of one of the biggest best-sellers on personal development ever written, How To Win Friends And Influence People, some of the things most people want include:

1. Health and the preservation of life
2. Food
3. Sleep
4. Money and the things money will buy
5. Life in the hereafter (that could be substituted for “to believe in something”)
6. Sexual gratification
7. The well-being of our children
8. A feeling of importance

Did you notice the item in bold at the end of the list?
Yep, that one is very important, way too important if you ask me. Everyone, in a way or another, seeks a feeling of importance. It springs from our ego, our very sense of self and identity that wants gratification so bad it will do pretty much anything to get it. The Bottom line should be as simple as this:

Always Make People Feel Important.

There are many ways to do this that will benefit everyone and that do not ring with manipulation, selfishness, submissiveness or any wacky hypnotism technique. Let’s explore some of these.

• Stay Open To The Other Person
  Your body language is very important when you come in contact with people. It is a direct dialogue with the other person’s subconscious mind that tells the other what to expect from you. Frowning and keeping your arms crossed will make sure you make a bad impression. Try to stand tall with your arms on your hips or in a welcoming manner while offering the other a warm smile. This will right away remove the mental barriers and encourage more in depth interactions.
• Listen
  People love to talk about themselves. A lot of people do not have the occasion to express themselves fully at work or in their personal life. Sometimes because of the social environments they are in or because they are surrounded by these exact type of people; folks who talk relentlessly about themselves without listening. Don’t be that person. Take the time to listen to the other person’s needs and you will be amazed by the appreciation they will show you for letting them share what’s on their mind. Besides, listening to the other person will give you everything you need to know to give them what they want. As a matter of fact, just that may be enough to them.
• Let The Other Be Right (You Can Never Win An Argument)
  Everyone, including you and me, are wrong, several times a day. It does not matter if you say white, there will always be someone else to try and prove you that it’s black. Even when you are so sure about your point of view that you could bet your life on it, some other enlightened being will come and show you that you are wrong and he’s right. The fact is that no one as the ultimate truth. Everyone has their own perceptions that make up their own view of reality. It is rarely useful to prove someone they are wrong. This will only hurt their pride and make them feel resentment toward you. There is a great quote by Samuel Butler that greatly illustrates this:
  

  He that complies against his will
  Is of his own opinion still.

  So what is the point here? The point is to avoid arguing at all costs. No matter how much you want to be right, winning your point against someone will not make you a winner.

• Stay In The Present Moment
  That one is never far around the corner, especially when you talk about being zen.
  How do you feel when you talk to someone that seems to be looking in the distance? Even worse if that person is looking in the distance! You feel like the other is not interested, bored or that he or she would prefer be somewhere else right now. I certainly do not like when someone does that to me, so I try to avoid it as much as I can. Staying in the present moment means watching the other speak, really listening, being genuinely interested in what he or she has to say. It means forget about the fact that you are hungry and that you have a phone call to make in 20 minutes. It is about respecting the words, thoughts and ideas of that person.
• Pay Attention To Your Mirror
  In eastern philosophies such as zen, everything is one. That includes all the people you come in contact with. Each person you face is a mirror of yourself. Your perceptions are always mirrored back to you in every moments of your life and that is certainly more noticeable in the case of human interactions, since we are all of the same makeup. For instance, if you resent people who are very outgoing and exuberant, it is most likely reflecting something about you. Perhaps you are introverted and you don’t like to see people getting to much attention since you struggle with that yourself. It could also be the opposite where you are very outgoing and you don’t like to be reminded of that because you have been reproached that behavior in the past.

  Just Remember that everyone we meet as something to teach us about ourselves. In light of this, let’s keep our third eye open for growth opportunities.

• Be A Giver
  If you want to get anything out of anyone, you shouldn’t expect to take what you want and leave, this method wont make you any friends. Rather, it will breed resentment and make sure your “friends” will have something better to do next time you ask for help or support. If you want to receive, you must give. That is the law of cause and effect and it works all the time. On a subconscious level, giving gives your neurology a wonderful opportunity to let go in order to create more space for whatever it is you want. If you hold on to things, be it stuff you own or feelings you experience, you do not allow any room in your head to receive since you choose to hold on too much.

  This is why I titled this article: How to Give people what they want and not how to get what you want from people. Because when you give to others, you also give to yourself in the process.

How Do You Interact With People?

In my experience, if you choose to apply some or all of these attitudes, you will be rewarded greatly. I could have kept on writing for hours on the subject but I prefer turning to you now. This blog is also meant to be about sharing and conversing right?

So you are welcome to add your thoughts, comments and questions to the list and make it better.

Namaste

Zasta

the power to influence others, esp. because of one’s commanding manner or one’s recognized knowledge about something

Authority takes many forms: It can be your teachers, your local priest, the president of your country, the authors of the books or blogs your read, the master guru marketing maven expert and the list goes on.

We first encounter authority in the form of, you guessed it, our parents. We look up to them as the ultimate source of authority. After all, they feed us, provide us shelter, they change our diapers and basically make sure that we survive and thrive in this world. That is fine in itself as our parents probably want the best for us and it’s certainly a good thing that we can rely on them at these early stages in our lives. This concept is not bad in itself. The problem is when you go from accepting to believing in that authority.

I Am An Expert

Personally, I do not practice expertise. I tend to approach life as a generalist;

• learn something of interest
• practice it enough so that it becomes a skill onto itself
• teach it to others
• keep improving it
• move on to the next

One may see this as a “Jack of all trades” approach to life and that would be close to the truth. I believe you don’t have to be an expert in any field to largely benefit from it and I certainly do not care to become one.

When you are the expert, people come to you for advice, they look up to you as the leader that can provide them with the answer. That in itself, is bound to lead to deceptions of all sorts.

Now, let’s clarify things a bit, I am not suggesting that we should stop gathering valuable information from trusted sources when we need it, I do that all the time. For example, we it comes to health matters, the first guy I go to is Dr.Joseph Mercola. He as provided me with insightful knowledge on various health subject and I will keep going to him a long as his material is valuable to me. Yet, I do not see him as the great authority or expert that holds the ultimate truth. The best he can do is provide me with knowledge that comes from his own personal experiences so hopefully it will make sense to me and his audience.

Let Me Take Responsibility For Your Life

One of the main functions and deceptions of authority is to shift the responsibility from the person who seeks it, to the person who claim to yield it. Too many people are deceived in that way. This is especially true with spiritual leaders. Folks go to them expecting to have an answer to questions about the meaning of life or to their little inner torments. They want to validate their beliefs, to remove the burden of their own existence from their shoulders and put it on these so called super know it all masters.

This is when deception occurs. You can’t expect someone to hold the truth about reality for you without being deceived by them. No one holds the truth to your reality. Heck, they may not even understand what their own reality is all about. To Avoid this guru type know it all BS, you have to take full responsibility for your life and stop putting it on someone else’s back. Where you stand right now, with all your circumstances, beliefs, thoughts, emotions, goals, etc, is entirely created by you.

Question Authority

In light of all this, I personally want to invite you to question authority in all its forms. Ask yourself:

• How did I end up believing that X holds any form of authority?
• Why would X’s value to the world be worth more than mine in any ways?
• Do I think of myself as authoritative?
• What does my view on authority tells me about myself?

Of course, these are just a couple of random questions that can help you to observe yourself and hopefully gain a few insights about your ways to deal with authority if you are willing to be open enough to see the answers. I challenge you to abolish this unequal view we have of the world and of the people that surround us. Whether you are a clerk in the local shoe store, a prolific freelance writer or the president of your own country, in the end, it doesn’t matter. Whatever form of authoritative power someone has, it’s most likely because it has been granted to him by others.

So question Authority, wherever it comes from:
Parents, friends, doctors, public figures, rock stars, books, newspapers, blogs, etc.
Also, question your authority, my authority, question this! Do not reject everything you encounter and rebel against it, just be wise enough to observe with your own wisdom and fair observations what is really going on without being clouded by the ever distorted opinions and judgments of others.

Words From No Authority

I will leave you will a famous quote from Siddharta Gautama, the Buddha himself, who certainly did not see himself as any kind of authority:

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.

But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

- Buddha…

Zasta